A Space for Mucosal Melanoma Caregivers
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stepping away
It’s hard to be a caregiver. In the past few months it’s gotten harder. Not that Amy has gotten sicker but I have been more depressed. Multiple doctor appointments, trips to ER and the infections just keep on brewing. After the last 9 hr wait in emerg I had a breakdown. I wasn’t safe to
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home
I got home from my mini break and felt wonderful! Since I live with someone who is diet restricted it is such freedom to eat whatever I wanted! So many vegetables and some spicy new things. An hour after being at home I got hit with the most incredible exhaustion. I was almost sick I
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planning for the inevItable.
I’m getting so much better with puppy loss. I imagine her surrounded by love and happiness and that helps me to move on. Friday is loopogram day. Hopefully, this CT will help pinpoint where leaks are and they can decide if there is any chance they can be repaired. Enterococcus is still present and really
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colour
The world is colourful. What colour are you today? I’m a healthy shade of green. I can see green and I can breathe green. I feel it settling all my nerves. I spent time at the lake imagining my puppy wrapped in a pink bubble of love and protection and letting her go. She was
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Vacay
I’m away. Away from the house. Away from monitoring Amy’s pallor. Away from food prep, cleaning, feeding the cat, yard work. Instead, I’m in a fantastic hotel room with a pub downstairs. Today, I plan to sit by the lake and process all that’s happened in the past few months. Im sitting at my hotel
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N 1 patIents
today was the first time I ever heard that reference to a cancer victim. Amy was told that’s what she is considered. It means that there isn’t enough research done on what is happening with her for them to have any protocols for treatment. Docs are shooting in the dark. They admit they don’t know
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I once loved a puppy with all my heart
I thought I would die the day we had to rehome her. I didn’t die. I simply cried until the tears were gone. I thought my heart would break. It didn’t it just has another scar. It was not something I ever imagined I’d have to do. I was committed to this little red haired
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too angry to type
we all know the medical system is broken but I still had faith that the people were good. Today I am doubting the people. so much has happened in the last few weeks. Another infection led to surgery to replace the ureter stent with a bigger one. Constant pain for the past 2 weeks. Signs
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break time
I’ve taken a wee bit of a break because it/I was too negative and had nothing to be positive about. Here’s a bit of positivity…Amy’s cancer didn’t show any sign of recurring. Yay! However, her kidney was full of fluid so one week ago she had surgery and is still dealing with discomfort. During my
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grief
grief begins at diagnosis. When does it end? Perhaps never.
Rainbows and Black Unicorns 