Vacay

I’m away. Away from the house. Away from monitoring Amy’s pallor. Away from food prep, cleaning, feeding the cat, yard work.
Instead, I’m in a fantastic hotel room with a pub downstairs. Today, I plan to sit by the lake and process all that’s happened in the past few months.
Im sitting at my hotel window staring at the mountains with a clear and sunny sky. It’s glorious!
As a caregiver this is probably the best thing I could do for myself and Amy because if I’m not grounded then she won’t be either.
It doesn’t mean I’m not still stressed, burnt out, on edge or whatever you want to label it. I’m all those things and more. What this getaway gives me is a different scene. Different things to look at and have someone feed me and clean up after me. 3 nights of taking care of my body, not cooking and pretending I’m ok. Yes, I have to be polite to wait staff but I usually am even when healthy. But I can come back to my room and sleep or cry and not worry about those around me.
Respite for carers is awesome.