Rainbows and Black Unicorns

Tag: carers

  • the beat goes on

    Here’s the update. I have 2 different types of breast cancer. It’s very early stages so a few stitches and a bit of radiation and I’ll be done. I’m not scared but it is an inconvenience. So many tests and appointments. But I can get through that. Secondly, I have skin cancer. Not melanoma but…

  • been gone awhile

    WordPress has changed things and I find it really difficult to access this blog. I’ve missed typing out my feelings and since I have lost most of my support and my feelings are a bit crazy! Update: I was attending a grief support group but often felt like a fraud. Their partners were all dead.…

  • victims

     Jane Cawthorne Writer and Editor Cancer is Not a Journey Cancer is not a journey. Stop with the meaningless platitudes. Cancer is a kidnapping. A hijacking. You’re going along, living your life and BAM. A bag gets thrown over your head and you are captured and you don’t know where the hell you are going.…

  • FAIRYTALEs we tell ourselves

    As caregivers sometimes we lie. Sometimes we even convince ourselves that we know what’s best. But mostly we just hang on until our fingers bleed. To be a caregiver is to be a juggler, a fortune teller and a ringleader. Could anything be more all consuming than to try to manage a situation that is…

  • Vacay

    I’m away. Away from the house. Away from monitoring Amy’s pallor. Away from food prep, cleaning, feeding the cat, yard work. Instead, I’m in a fantastic hotel room with a pub downstairs. Today, I plan to sit by the lake and process all that’s happened in the past few months. Im sitting at my hotel…

  • break time

    I’ve taken a wee bit of a break because it/I was too negative and had nothing to be positive about. Here’s a bit of positivity…Amy’s cancer didn’t show any sign of recurring. Yay! However, her kidney was full of fluid so one week ago she had surgery and is still dealing with discomfort. During my…

  • caring

    SELF-CARE FOR CARERS  ‘While caring for a partner can be very rewarding, it can also place a strain on relationships,’ says Carers UK’s Emily Holzhausen. More than 75% of carers responding to the charity’s State of Caring survey said they felt stressed and anxious; 69% found it difficult to get a good night’s sleep and…

  • what can i say?

    Amy has yet again another infection. Surgeon returned her call at 830pm. Ordered more drugs and admitted the surgery from last week won’t solve the infection issue. It’s outta his wheelhouse to fix it. sigh…big sigh… Monday we meet with oncology surgeons to discuss options. They will likely need to take healthy tissue from her…

  • This is who we are

    Carers are not hero’s. We don’t have magical powers. We don’t have a wand but we wish we did.We cry. We shake. We get overwhelmed. We worry…oh so much. We have feelings that get hurt. We get abandoned by people who think we should act differently. We are afraid. We are lonely. We are stunned…

  • another PRE-SURGERY day

    And the anxiety is off the charts. I got some post op stuff organized like food and made sure things are charged. We had an updated convo regarding death, money and wishes and hopes for after recovery looking towards summer. It’s always so hard. I’m not driving her tomorrow and don’t know how I would…