My cancer journey

Mid March I had a lumpectomy. That was ok. Not really a big deal. I’m still recovering but it’s all good. Radiation is put off for a few months which I’m ok with.

The problem was the skin cancer on my back. While doing the breast surgery the surgeon so fixed up the margins where my squamous cell had been removed. It was dreadful. I can’t reach it so someone had to clean it and it got infected. Abyss actually. One night I was lying on my back and the pressure felt wrong. Doc said it was severally infected. The next day it exploded and I was alone. Blood and pus were running down my back.

After 8 hours in emerg I left with multiple drugs and basically wallpaper over 90% of my back. It was very unpleasant to say the least.

It’s ok now. Still healing but it’s going in the right direction.

So what’s my gripe for the day? The lack of support I have. My parents are in their 90s so I will excuse some of their distance but my siblings have refused to acknowledge what I went thru. Nothing. Nada. No contact. That’s nothing really new with them because they will not support Amy in any way but delusional me thought they might reach out when it was me suffering and worrying. After all I babysat their kids when they needed a break and I took alcohol induced phone calls from my brother ( he is an alcoholic) and tried to be patient and long suffering when they needed it. I guess it’s too much to expect an email?

So that’s my family but now onto Amy’s family. She told them I can’t count on my family so they would have to stand in. They said all the right things but didn’t follow thru. They’ll ask Amy how I’m doing but won’t ask me. Is that just weird? Am I wrong to expect them to support me? Sure they sent flowers and plants ( please see post on what not to do to show support or watch Sarah Millican talk about how plants are the worst thing to give because it’s too much bloody work).

I am furious with them and I’m not sure if I should be. This is a build up of exhaustion, fear and continuing abandonment. Never once has Amy’s family asked me how I’m coping with all the pressure from being a caregiver. Never once have they offered to give me a break and take on some of the burden. Never mind what I just went through. Is that wrong of me to be so angry? Is there anyone out there that can relate or help normalize things for me?

I really hope someone will respond and tell me how they dealt with a lack of support.