Tag: melanoma
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more surgery
Met with new surgeon today. He will attempt to insert a large stent into her ureter to see if that will help it stay open thereby eliminating the need for nephrostomy tube and urine bag she wears around her ankle. That’s the goal. No more tubes coming out of her back. It’s general anesthetic but…
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the same
Life is still the same. Amy’s still fighting infections and my anxiety is controlling my life. Amy looks green, her urostomy bag is noisy sounding like a waterfall at times and it smells. Antibiotics? Probably the cause.Me…I hear all the noises and worry that this isn’t normal or healthy. She refuses to ask anyone about…
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the wheels have come off
Three surgeons agreed surgery is very risky. Oncologist, urologist and plastic surgeon all agreed she needs surgery but is it too risky? Right now Amy has a ostomy bag for urine and one for poop. She also has a tube coming out of her back to drain urine into a bag worn around her ankle.…
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again
Soooo…waiting again. We’re waiting for appt with two surgeons. That will happen in 2 days and the anxiety has exploded. This time we will discuss how to close the fistula. It sounds like it should be a quick and easy surgery but I’m guessing it’ll be slightly more complicated. Because we don’t know what to…
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addicts
We went to the mountains for a few days. It was nice. The weather and scenery was outstanding. We did a bit of letting go of past hurts and disappointments. I wrote a note to the people who have hurt me outlining how their judgement has affected me. I ended each note with a positive…
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more again
Amy was hospitalized for 8 days. Had surgery on right kidney tube and she’s still recovering. A fistula was discovered and we are waiting for a surgeon to return from holiday. He does robotic surgery and might be able to fix the leak. Her back pain has been very uncomfortable and worrisome. The nurse has…
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Scanxiety is real
If you’re a cancer patient, survivor or caregiver you’ll be very aware of scanxiety. Every new procedure, scan or doctor visit can bring it on. It’s the unknown that rocks us off our tenuous balance beam. What will they say? What happens next? How will we cope? Scanxiety is so strong today. Surgery is tomorrow…
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Aloneness vs loneliness
I’m alone and I’m lonely. In my aloneness I’m getting some stuff done that I’ve been too busy or tired to do. That is wonderful. In my loneliness I find myself worrying about the past and the future. Will we ever get to travel? Will the cancer recur for the umpteenth time? We have an…
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Not everyday is good
My oh my, what an unbelievable day! The weather was awesome and some “things”got done around the house. That always feels good. The flip side wasn’t so good. The vet didn’t call with blood results. Hopefully, tomorrow. We did get a call from someone who was in distress. I won’t go into details but it…
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Sadness
I wish I could record videos. Lack of ability and hating the way I look on camera prevent me from trying. Amy’s sad today because she’s still so weak from sepsis. The drugs might be zapping her strength or the residual damage from sepsis might be the cause. She’s sad that she can’t do the…
Rainbows and Black Unicorns 