Tag: Caregiver victims
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A month later…
Christmas was ok. Infection was gone and the mountains were awesome. We had a nice dinner with family and it was worth going. By the time we got home Amy had another infection. That got treated and then a new one developed. Omg it’s never ending. Friday she spent all afternoon in urgent care. They…
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Ongoing
Still angry. I hate feeling this way. I’m getting triggered over the smallest things. Amy’s capped off tube was causing her pain. Probably urine backing up so she added the leg bag. It’s not working 100% but it’s ok. nurse comes this aft to change dressing and patch her up for Christmas. Hopefully we get…
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crisis pt 2
After a weekend of uncertainty her bag started to drain. Yay! She wasn’t feeling the greatest but not sick enough to go to emerg. Hospital did arrange for her tubes to be changed today but rather than a leg bag they capped the tubes so it’s now totally flowing into her urostomy. Fingers crossed that…
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anger
Do you ever get angry? Do you get mad? Our society really frowns on any expression of anger even though it’s healthy. Of course, it can’t be free flowing and you can’t take it out on innocents so how do you show it? When is it allowed to be expressed and how. I’m in no…
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movie
There’s are new movie on Netflix called “leave the world behind”. Can’t comment on the movie cuz we haven’t finished it. But Julia Robert’s speaks a line in the first 2 minutes that made me laugh, “ I hate people”. Yup, me too! I don’t want to be like this but gawd I’m so tired…
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the same
Life is still the same. Amy’s still fighting infections and my anxiety is controlling my life. Amy looks green, her urostomy bag is noisy sounding like a waterfall at times and it smells. Antibiotics? Probably the cause.Me…I hear all the noises and worry that this isn’t normal or healthy. She refuses to ask anyone about…
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and it continues…
Last week we met with a surgeon to discuss removal of a pouch that’s developed along Amy’s incision line. The surgeon was less interested in that benign growth than she was in the horrific number of infections and hospitalizations she had. Everyone agreed that the fistula leaking urine into her gut is actually the more…
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addicts
We went to the mountains for a few days. It was nice. The weather and scenery was outstanding. We did a bit of letting go of past hurts and disappointments. I wrote a note to the people who have hurt me outlining how their judgement has affected me. I ended each note with a positive…
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more again
Amy was hospitalized for 8 days. Had surgery on right kidney tube and she’s still recovering. A fistula was discovered and we are waiting for a surgeon to return from holiday. He does robotic surgery and might be able to fix the leak. Her back pain has been very uncomfortable and worrisome. The nurse has…
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I was wrong
What was I thinking when I said I didn’t care if the cyber community read what I wrote? Today, I care because it’s a hard day. Amy is pale and fatigued. I’m anxious and feel like the next shoe is about to drop. I don’t know where that is coming from. It feels awful. I…
Rainbows and Black Unicorns 