Rainbows and Black Unicorns

Tag: cancer

  • a death

    A woman we know well died yesterday. Colon cancer. She was a musical director for a choir we were involved with. She wasn’t supposed to die. It happened very fast once they realised chemo wasn’t working. It’s affected me greatly because her bowel was removed and she had a nephrostomy just like Amy. Sad, so sad.…

  • A month later…

    Christmas was ok. Infection was gone and the mountains were awesome. We had a nice dinner with family and it was worth going. By the time we got home Amy had another infection. That got treated and then a new one developed. Omg it’s never ending. Friday she spent all afternoon in urgent care. They…

  • i thought i’d be better

    Nope, still mad at people’s insensitivity. I get it. I truly understand why people say stupid things about being positive blah, blah, blah. Right now though, it’s making me angry and I have no patience so it’s better if I just ignore them. Amy got drugs today to deal with infection. Symptoms are bothersome like…

  • fed up!

    I wasn’t having the greatest day then it got worse! How does that happen? Amy has a sore lower back. Sure sign of yet another bloody infection. She’s down and frustrated. She shopping on line. I’m huffing and puffing and clenching my jaw. Latest round of antibiotics ended just 2 days ago. Here we go…

  • Low

    I’ve watched 2 YouTubers that do caregiving for cancer spouses. I’ve noticed they never talk about anger, frustration or irritability. They might talk about fear but not the debilitating fear that comes from waiting for the next phone call, next scan, next symptom. They might mention sadness but not the overwhelming grief that comes from…

  • not coping

    The grief is palatable. Email from urologist said he wanted to wait and possibly never do surgery. He would try removing nephrostomy tube and doing a different procedure but even that sounds questionable. It’s one thing to wait for something that would hopefully make life easier but now it feels like this is as good…

  • Sadness

    I wish I could record videos. Lack of ability and hating the way I look on camera prevent me from trying. Amy’s sad today because she’s still so weak from sepsis. The drugs might be zapping her strength or the residual damage from sepsis might be the cause. She’s sad that she can’t do the…

  • Gifts

    Can I make a few suggestions around gifts for the patient or caregiver? I am so grateful for everything people have done for us and I know it’s with the best intentions. But sometimes traditional gifts are not the most appropriate such as flowers or plants. As a caregiver the burden falls on me to…