fed up!

I wasn’t having the greatest day then it got worse! How does that happen?
Amy has a sore lower back. Sure sign of yet another bloody infection. She’s down and frustrated. She shopping on line. I’m huffing and puffing and clenching my jaw.
Latest round of antibiotics ended just 2 days ago. Here we go again. Nurse is coming today to take urine sample from her back so we can drop it off to be tested.
Also, hospital phoned to book nephrostomy change for dec 15 and urologist said she’d have to meet with infectious diseases clinic before January surgery. He wants her on antibiotics 3 days before surgery.

I worry so much that these infections are going to take over her whole body. There’s nothing I can do. I feel helpless and sad. And mad. I have no one to talk to and have to pretend for Amy’s sake that I’m ok. I’m not ok. I’m tired and frustrated.
We had planned a mini trip for tomorrow which would involve crossing the border. Now that’s off. Can’t do anything that might put Amy at risk.
am I allowed to swear on this blog?