results

CT came back clear! Yay!
Another new ugly infection, though. Sigh… Amy needed an unusual drug not commonly prescribed so the pharmacist had to call around to ask who stocked it. He is the best.
Today, a new urologist called with a dec 5 appointment. No idea what he can do for her but he specializes in less invasive surgeries.
Me? I’m so anxious that I can hardly cope. Will there be surgery before Christmas? What effect are all these infections having on her health?
Her stoma is so noisy and that combined with the infections the smells are nauseating. I’ve started to burn candles all day now. She tries so hard to manage the smells and I don’t blame her but gawd it’s tiring.

I’m really feeling lonely. I’m sad, scared and feel abandoned by my family. They made Xmas plans and didn’t include us. Why? It’s a long story but the bottom line is they wouldn’t accommodate us. I am stunned but then again not surprised really. It’s just adding to my loneliness.

We decorated this year and the house looks pretty good. For a fleeting moment I thought we should have a party but then remembered we can’t make plans cuz we never know what’s waiting for us from week to week.
We talked today about the reality that we probably won’t ever move to Victoria because we are too entangled in the medical system. Also, my dream of going to Scotland again won’t likely happen unless I go alone and I’m not sure I can do that.
Do you ever get made at God? Ever wonder when you’ll get a break? Ever ask why me? What answers did you get?