not coping

The grief is palatable.
Email from urologist said he wanted to wait and possibly never do surgery. He would try removing nephrostomy tube and doing a different procedure but even that sounds questionable.
It’s one thing to wait for something that would hopefully make life easier but now it feels like this is as good as it’s going to get. So sad. So empty. No travelling. No thriving just surviving. I have to be ok with our new life that will include homecare, constant monitoring for infections and little to no reprieve.
yup, I’m feeling sorry for myself. No one else will so I might as well😏