again

Soooo…waiting again.
We’re waiting for appt with two surgeons. That will happen in 2 days and the anxiety has exploded.
This time we will discuss how to close the fistula. It sounds like it should be a quick and easy surgery but I’m guessing it’ll be slightly more complicated.
Because we don’t know what to expect, my anxiety has taken on a life of its own. When will the surgery happen, how long will recovery be and will it work?
Amy’s ostomy bag hasn’t been working too well. She often smells and it has become so noisy. How do you tell someone they smell? She tries so hard. It doesn’t seem fair.

I’m not sleeping. Have anxiety through out the day and I’m clenching my teeth leading to constant headaches. I’m wanting to get some things done before surgery like refinishing a cabinet and do some cleaning. Don’t even ask me about Christmas! I’ll keep things simple when that time comes. Gone are the days of baking, hosting, crafting. Now, we might cook a turkey for a small dinner. We’ll do limited decorating and there won’t be any parties to attend but we will make it as good as we can. I’m not mad about it. Surgery date will dictate everything and if we have to do Christmas earlier or later that’s ok too.

Did you read this? Are you a cancer caregiver?
please comment below. Very few people see this blog and no one has ever commented or asked a question. I’d like to hear your story 🌈