Upcoming surgery

Caregivers experience of stress related to upcoming tests or surgery, is very real.

Amy will be having a minor surgery in 2 days. It’s a kidney stent being inserted to keep the tubes from collapsing. It’s not a big deal but last time a whole chain reaction of infection leading to sepsis started from this similar surgery.

The infection was laying dormant just waiting for someone to stir it up. She’s been on prophylactic antibiotics ever since and will continue with them until well after the procedure.

The worry comes from the unknown. Will the stent work and will there be life threatening infections? I have PTSD from all the trauma we’ve gone thru. Will she be in critical danger again or will it be ok. I always hope for the best but prepare for the worst so as I write this I’ve realized I need to make sure that I’m rested and ready for whatever comes.

It’s not a fun way to live. But what choice do I have? I need to be here physically and mentally.

I wonder why I ended up in this role but I know I must have agreed to do this work and there must be a higher reason for it and I think it’s an honour to be able to assist her. But, damn I get tired easily now! I’m still hoping that one day I’ll recover and find myself.

Caregivers get lost in the system. The medical community never asks how I’m coping. Family might ask but, in my experience, don’t really want to know and so much time is spent preparing, managing, and putting my own stuff on hold, I got lost. I would love someone to talk to, go for lunch with, understand that just because they’re burnt out and walk away, I’m still “ on call”. I don’t get to walk away when things get tough.

Life is colourful!