I feel stronger

Since I decided that no one gets to tell me how I should feel I feel much better! Having decided it’s better to be alone than pretend every single thing is rosy and live with that knot in my stomach I feel more free. And who knows maybe since that last door has closed another will open and bring fresh energy into my life. I would love that. I miss having friends not just to talk cancer but to hear about their life and do fun things together.

My ex friend told me too many times “but you don’t have cancer” “ this is Amy’s cancer not yours”. How dumb are those statements? And how dare you say them to me. Amy and I been together since 1998 and married since 2005 and fighting cancer since 2007. Where does it say cancer ( like every other disease) isn’t a family affair? It’s a family crisis because it affects all aspects of family life from financial, social, spiritual and physical.

When the universe was created it was never the intention that we would do this alone. We are expected to pitch in and sacrifice. While it’s not pleasant, cancer treatment or recovery cannot exist in a vacuum.
I’ll admit I have medical trauma. I think Amy does too although it’s easier for her to avoid that reality than deal with it. We’ve lived going from crisis to crisis thru no fault of anyone. It’s just the mere existence of the beast. I guess I would would like someone to say that we’ve done a remarkable job of coping instead of being critical.
Are you coping? I’m going to say, you are amazing and doing so much more than people realize. Your gifts and talents are a special blessing to your care recipient. Your sacrifices exceed what you originally thought you’d be expected to do and you do them with grace. I honour you just the way you are.